The Quest to self love.

“The second most important commandment is like this one, and it is,

 “Love others as much as you love yourself.”

Matthew‬ ‭22:39‬ ‭CEVUK

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I want you to know healthy self-love is not self-indulgent, selfish, or egocentric. However, self-love is the start of all healthy relationships. How you feel about yourself can either be an attractor or a detractor of what you want or need out of life. 

Why is it then a Quest? 

Because it’s an ongoing journey that we unravel as time unfolds. 

1 Corinthians 13: 4 a - defines love as being kind & Patient.

Kindness is what Love is willing to give away, & Can be seen in how you:

• Speak to yourself: 

I personally distaste anyone with a mocking aura around me, and if you’re anything like me, you know how off-putting it can be to be around those people. Yet isn’t it funny how we speak to ourselves with the same mocking aura? Are you constantly telling yourself you’re ugly? Skinny/Too Thick? Unintelligent etc? How about you get in the habit of speaking kindly to yourself? Reminding yourself how beautiful you are, for you are made in Christ’s likeness. Telling yourself you have the intelligence of God and you’ll use it?

• Think of yourself: 

do you think you’re unlovable, inadequate, too much, etc? How about you remind yourself that you’re worthy of love despite your flaws? Learn to think rightly and purely of yourself, & not too highly than you ought to of course. Embrace your quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. Accept yourself for who you are and what you are not.

• Treat yourself: 

Do you eat healthy, exercise, and rest when you need to? Do you treat yourself with small - big gifts or are you waiting for someone to do that for you? Do you go on solo dates to enjoy your own company? Do you even spend time with yourself or are you always running to things and people? You won’t know yourself fully and what your needs are if you don’t learn to spend time with Yourself. 

Patience is what Love is willing to endure:

• Are you patient with yourself for who you are and who you are becoming? Are you forgiving your naive self for those mistakes or are you constantly beating yourself up? Are you setting pretty high standards for yourself that you can’t live up to? Are you beating yourself up for making the same mistake over and over again? Learn to be patient with yourself. Identify areas of your struggles and seek help when necessary. Allow yourself to fall and get back up again, you are only human. Strive to be a better version of yourself than yesterday, patiently so. Yet, also acknowledging you won’t always get it right and it’s okay.

I too am on this quest for self-love. Sometimes I get it right - sometimes I don’t. Ask God to help you love yourself right all over again and intentionally so. 

I’ll recommend that you read this book.