DEADLY WOUNDS - REQUIRE DEEP HEALING (Fatherlessness)

         DEADLY WOUNDS - REQUIRE DEEP HEALING

(Fatherlessness)

Fatherlessness in itself is an internal wound - that if not left uncovered and allowed a proper healing process, can possibly lead to fatality, either spiritually, psychologically, or both.

We all have areas of wounding in our lives, and for many of us, our wounds are deadlier than others. Those who know me personally would fully attest that it's not patently obvious that I grew up without either a father or a mother (present). But that's simply because I have a Father in Heaven.

Psalm 27: 10 (AMP)
"Although my father & mother have abandoned me, the Lord will take me up (adopt me as his child)"

Let me qualify, I don't know the reasons my father wasn't there, but then I'm glad he wasn't, and I love him so dearly. I know that sounds like a laughable oxymoron... but it is the truth. Regarding my mother, I'll talk about her someday. She's also my beloved.

I grew up in a big family. Born by my mother, bred and buttered by my grandmother & aunt. My grandfather passed on when I was still a minor. So we literally had no father figure in place, my granny played a double duty all my childhood, being both a mom and a dad to us all. She played it out so well, though, which made it hard for me to depict whether there was anything outside the norm of living in a functional family.

Until I was in High school. My then-best friend asked me, 'You never say anything about your dad when I speak about mine. Why is that?"
Wow! I was not only befuddled, but I also felt exposed and pressured because I literally had nothing to say about him.

Fast forward to that same evening, and I was still flummoxed. I called Mom and decided to delve into the very sensitive, never-have conversation about my dad. Of course, she knew this day would come... I could hear it in her emotional voice...
She replied..."He's late and he actually had 7 children", which is (inclusive of me) and the other 6. I only knew one at the time. He's the best bro I could have ever asked for.

What a wow. I remember crying so bitterly, and that's the only closure I had. Funny enough, I thought I was all hunky dory until I began suffering from bouts of insecurities, low self-esteem, depression, etc., you name it. However, there was never a time when I was ever angry or resentful towards my dad. I genuinely love him, and I want to believe I forgave him; that's why it's easy for me to talk about him.

So I began to look at things from an obscure vantage, that God didn't really love me, and that he was punishing me for something I knew nothing of. Like why did He give me the desire as a human to want to be fathered, and yet actually wrest from me the joys it comes with? Well, frustrated and Questioning... I stepped into the ring and boxed with God for a few years. I swung punches, and He encountered them with gentleness. I blamed Him, & He loved me unconditionally. The final bell sounded, and I went to my corner-defeated by a compassionate God.

I'm confident that God is all-powerful and sovereign. He could have literally just stepped in and altered my life, but he didn't... that's simply because he wanted to teach me a few things.

1. Neither of the things I went through was out of my doing or a punishment from God,  whatsoever. He allowed it so his glory could shine through me.

• John 9:2-3 (NIV) 2 "His disciples asked him, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was blind? 3 "Neither this man, nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life"

2. Everyone has trouble (even fathered girls).

Even though they grow up with the love and affirmation of their father, they will still have challenges to overcome. No one lives a life void of difficulties.

•  John 16:33 (NIV) " In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."

3. Christ Himself suffered for my sake.

•  Isaiah 53:5 (NKJV) "But He was wounded for our transgressions,
  He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes, we are healed."

(This should encourage you that there's purpose in your pain. I personally suffered the pain that I would be able to identify with y'all today.

4. Suffering does not change the nature of God. He still loves you

•   Jeremiah 31:3 "I loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness"

God has the power to fill every void in a fatherless person. He literally filled many of my voids and healed me from daddy issues. This healing and complete wholeness are only in Christ. My dearest sister or brother, stop running away from Him. He wants to heal you so dearly. Are you willing to let Him in those small rooms of your life, where no one is allowed to enter? God is all-knowing and all-seeing. I've seen him in my life. I want the same for you.